[oh my god John what even are you. why is Jamie getting involved. why is he associating with you in public.]

Uh - look, sorry about him, he has...a severe head injury and got away from his handler. I'd better get him back before he, um. Runs into traffic or something.

[He gestures at the fuming gentleman's egg-splattered clothes, wrinkling his nose a little.]

I'm sure that'll - uh, that should wash right out if you go home right away and put some detergent on it. Wash it in cold water, scrub gently with a toothbrush to get the proteins out. Good as new.

[Everything's cool, right, angry man? You wouldn't murder two stupid kids in the midst of a riot, would you?]